Courage
by stars shine out
Summary: Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is doing what needs to be done despite the fear. This is the story of the girl who dropped the ball. *oneshot, about the girl who dropped the ball before the gong sounded and got blown up


**AN: This story is about the girl who dropped her wooden ball before the gong sounded and died. She sort of fascinates me, and she leaves me wondering if it was purposeful. If it was her version of the berries, only she never meant to survive it. I've made her from District 4, because the sea is fascinating, and I've named her Elsa Finch. The story is in her POV. Italics are dreams.**

**Disclaimer: All things Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

**Courage**

_Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is doing what needs to be done despite the fear._

**Elsa's POV**

_The ocean is surging, tossing. It is full of power, and could throw over this little boat in a second. Thunder booms, and lightning strikes the sea only meters away from me. My boat continues towards the shore, and the docks are in sight. On them waits my family; my mother and my 1-year-old sister. My father was killed in a storm like this one._

_My boat bumps up against the dock, and I catch the rope my mother tosses me. With expert hands, I tie the knot tight._

_I step onto the dock, and look at my little family._

_Dawn is coming. I can feel it, I can see it. _

"_You have courage, my daughter." my mother murmurs._

_I shake my head. I am not courageous. Courage is much too grand a word for what little virtue I possess. I merely do what must be done._

_The sun rises, light encompasses the land, and I awake._

I look up at my ceiling for a moment, running the scene through my head repeatedly. Then I glance over at the clock beside me. I still have time to take another sleeping pill and return to the land of my dreams. Perhaps, if I am lucky, I will even manage to forget the horrors that will come with the morning.

I swallow the tiny white pill quickly, and let the drug pull me back into the land of dreams.

_I hold my small wooden ball tightly in my fist as Minette rambles on about the greatness of the Capitol, and how excited she is that the Games have come again. I wish she would just draw the names already. That she would let those of us who will weep weep and those of us who will celebrate celebrate. _

_She reaches her hand into the great glass ball to the left of her first. After a moment, she pulls out a name. "Elsa Finch!" she calls._

_I look up at the sound of my name. It seems she really has called mine, as everyone around me is watching me expectantly, with different levels of sadness playing out on their faces. I lift my chin stubbornly though, and make my way towards the stage, my wooden ball still clutched in my hand. _

_And then I am in the Justice Building, and my mother embraces me. "I love you." She whispers._

"_I love you too," I tell her, "Keep Tetra safe."_

_My mother nods as I plant a soft kiss on my baby sister's forehead. "I love you." I whisper to her._

_And then the Peacekeepers open the doors, and announce my visiting time is up. My mother turns to go, but just before the doors close, blocking her from me forever, she calls "Courage, Elsa." _

_I nod, and wait for the click of the doors. Courage._

"Wake up!" Minette calls from my door, "It's a big, big day!"

I sit up slowly. It is a very big day indeed.

I pick up my window remote and begin flipping through the settings, looking for the picture I found the first night here. Minette comes scuttling in, just as I find the picture.

She gasps as she sees my new view. A tossing sea, raging violently, calling me home. I close my eyes, saving the picture mentally, before turning to face her. Let the day begin.

Breakfast flies by, blurred by my grim reality that is only just setting in.

Before I know it, I'm being pushed into the glass cylinder by Marcellus, my stylist, and I hold my wooden ball tightly in my hands.

The metal plate beneath me begins to rise, and I am soon in the arena.

_60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54, _

I find myself in a large desert. Off to my left, I can just see a group of palm trees. There is no water in sight.

_53, 52, 51, 50,_

This not the place for a District 4 girl. I make up my mind after only a moment in the arena. Dropping the ball would be easiest, fastest.

_49, 48, 47, 46, 45, _

I'll admit it, I'm scared to drop it, but I know that the Careers in the arena this year will be merciless, brutal, and sadistic.

_44, 43, 42, 41, 40, _

I hold up the wooden ball at eye level and inspect it. Will it be enough to set off the mines? I hope so.

_39, 38, 37, 36, 35, 34, 33,_

I prepare myself to let go. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I wonder if this is what my mother meant when she told me to have courage.

_32, 31, 30, 29, 28, 27,_

Because I'm scared, scared as hell to do this, but I've got to.

_26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21,_

This will be my own little way of playing the Games on my terms.

_20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15,_

Let myself be my only kill.

_14, 13, 12, 11, 10, _

I take a deep breath, and time seems to slow.

_9_

_8_

I'm sorry mother. Take care of Tetra. Don't grieve for me.

_7_

_6_

I let the wooden ball fall.

_5_

_4_

It hits the ground, and a deafening sound fills the air, light absorbing the world around me. I will never hear the gong. I will never play in their games.


End file.
